**~~~Merry Christmas~~**

I take my time to wish you all a Very Merry Christmas.

Hope you all have a fantastic day with your family and friend.

Hope you all get everything you wished for and more!

Have a Awesome day!

Blessings from

Hannah Karmun Chan!

Merry .... ?

Christmas will be blessed upon on in a matter of days and I still have done no christmas shopping. So will have to try and get this sorted by this week becuase this week it is literally christmas. Brilliant!

I am not feeling the drive to stay home this Christmas.
Sadly rather be in Unversity becuase my parents are really annoying.
But I guess I am lucky!

I hate this feeling, the feeling when you feel there are alot of things inside that you cannot put your finger on what it is exactly bugging you. Or maybe I do but don't really want to face it?
I actually do not know, weirdly it is very annoying. I feel like a filled up bottle that cannot be poured away.
Very Stressing feeling!

This is a merry chirstmas after all right?

GSK Interview

On the 26th November 2010, I recieved my first proper Interview for a placement in the following year.
To be honest I was very very nervous,
We had to do a presentation on a recent Achievement that we feel passionate about >>>>> it was rather difficult to think up an idea that would be interesting not just to me but for the interviewers as well.....

But on that day.... I did my interview in around 45 minutes..... and I really cross my fingers that it went well......

Apart from that I did get to spend a day which incoporated being on the train for 7 hours in that 10 hours!....Brilliant!!

They said that they will get back to me before Christmas.......So wait and see and just let fate decide I guess...All I can do now is concentrate my time on my coursework, group work and just any other work that is needed to meet the deadlines.

Also need to revise for both my language classes as they have decided to set and exam....
However, I came down with a bit of a cold and a cough and it is really not helping with the work load. But Hey...I'll deal with it..... I'm strong - so I can handle it!!

I Hate the Complexity of LIFE!!

I hate having education which comes with a big work load.....
Trying to learn new skills gives you extra work...
Applying to jobs you get interviews......
Having interview sometimes haves a presentation . ... . . . . ..... the information they give is so vague....So what am I going to do?

What AM I GOING TO DO.......

Huh....

I m going to go do my coursework now!!!..and Plan for my interview!!!

2010 by far the worst!!!!

I am absolutely hating the year 2010......
It is just not the year for me at all, all this bad luck, stress, lack of support and lack of fun is really getting me down.

My car's wing mirror have been smacked of twice within less than a week costing me £80 to do it each time.

Bought something of ebay and got ripped off.

Whole lot of work to do to hand in for christmas and I just don't understand some of the work.

Having doubts whether I will pass with a 2:1 because any lowI do not think I will be happy about that.

I guess here there is nothing a little tear will not solve.

I just do not know what to do....all this happening at the same time have really been stressing me out.....

Bugger!!

I wanted to change the layout of my blog but then I went and changed teh template tooo.....Bugger
I likes how it was before But I cannot remember the exact colours...
This will have to do for the time being I guesss.....

BUGGER BUGGER!!

Professor Layton: The Lost Future

The next installment of the brain worker game  . .   Professor layton...
I love this game...but I also look forward to the cut scenes becase they get better and better......
They set the mood the emotion and it is just like a movie!!

Work Over Load!!

BIG TIME MANNN!!!

1 Day of the Week Every Year........

I think that when I am writting this blog post I speak for everyone in the WORLD.
Basically I have had a the worst week of my life so far in 2010 which I believe there is one in every year that we live in.
Last week I had all my coursework distributed to me, altogether I have 5 pieces and one more on the way. On the side I have my language class which is Japanese and I have to learn all the Hiragana set each week, the mistake I did this week was that I did not learn the work set for the next class. Admittingly to say, I struggled. Also last week, some punk smacked of my left wing mirror which resulted in me driving down to the garage witout the view of my left side, I found that rather difficult in all cases.
Well i dorve down wednesday in the morning before I head of to university,, I walked in on that day.  Took 30-40 minutes each way.
To be honest that day was pretty grim. Although I do like walking, Music in your ears and not a care in the world except for avoiding bikes coming from behind you and in front of you. All you have to do is not to swerve yourself while you are walking, and blatantly that is what I do.........

But apart from that ...... This bad day could only come round Once in One week every year.....Not that bad...
24 hours of crap day and it will be over for the year... Fingers crossed anyway!!

........Future........Present......Past.......

There it is. The run down of everyone's lives, a run down from the past to present to the future. And who knows what will happen....
I was reading a facebook page from a friend of a friends......It was depressing because he passed away, may have been from a accident. But I was just reading the comments that people posted onto his page. To be honest I know I did not know him but I cried......It was sad and I will not even begin thinking what I will do if I was in their shoes because I hope in my whole entire life that it will not happen to me. Even if I have to live behind the lie that life is perfect.

Stages Of Life....

They always say let them walk before letting them run.
But if we can no longer run we shall walk.
If we fall down then we will Crawl
If we can not crawl we will use our hands and drag ourselves to wherever we need to go.
This is the stages of Life.
We shall not give up in any circumstance
Always look forward.

Untitled....

It has been a while since I have been woken up by noise from outside and not by myself.
Around 9is or 8ish either one, take your pick. There was a man shouting something over and over again every minute outside, it sounded that his voice was descending but after a while it was loud again. Ironicly he was shouting the same thing each time and I fail to recognise the Precise WORD (yes it was onlyone) that he was saying. This shows how deeply observant I am.....
But I love the feeling where you wake up unexpectedly and just lie there thinking that its a nice day, the morning sun is shining through....could not be more relaxing....

I  realised that where I live back home, Opening the window curatains resulted in a view of the garden.....and with all the flowers blooming I think it was pretty and Beautiful....I then just opened the curatains in the kitchen of my house in Bristol and the view that I got was the planks of wood layered in a row to build the fence. Beautiful Indeed (!)

Ahhhh well...nothing in the world is perfect so I shall leave you all to it....I have class in 30 Minutes...the wonders of Objective and Business Management Strategies =OBSM, I'm not sure if I hve it right but it's along the lines!

AI YA.....!!

Gettin used to early mornings were not as bad as I thought. Satrt from 11 and then from then I finish around 4 or maybe earlier. Not bad at all....
New Year...I need to ADD OIL....because this year the grade counts. Also have to write up my Curriculum Vitae and it was not as easy as I thought it could have been.
Stll have not finished...

But anywhoo...... this year I have to  Lo Lit Lo Lit.....and tell myself ... Ngoh yut din dut dut dut.....

YEAHHH!!!!

Freedom.....

From a young age I started working as my family have a business of their own. Like a typical Chinese family owning a Chinese takeaway along with a chipshop it is just inevitable that I cannot lead a normal childhood life. I started answering phones from the age of 10 and then started serving at the age of 12 and this has not changed from today at the age of 20. From within my 20 years we have moved house 3 times and I have attended up to 5 schools and college and one University.


I never get any freedom, I didn’t even get to choose the University I wished to attend or whether I wanted to move about all my life, whether I wanted to keep starting fresh in my school years. I just guess parents just do not understand their kids’ feelings. I have been through some horrible times in my life that I am afraid to tell them because I guess I am scared. Due to the lack of freedom I find it difficult to tell them what I want to do with my life in case they start lecturing me or shout at me and tell me that I have a selfish mind and that I do not care about anything but myself. I find that I have no right to do what I want in fear of them turning their backs on me.

I guess this is why I start having my tantrums; when I talk to other parent and they say I just let my kids choose their own ways, choose the university they like. I feel torn inside, I feel like I want to cry in a little corner on my own because I never had that incentive. I implied I wanted to go further then Bristol but then my parents would say you cannot come home every weekend to work and then say why go so far?.......it is upsetting. I do not think they understand me much at all. To be honest they do not spend much time with me when I was little so I guess this is why I am not as close to them as some of my friends are to their parents. It actually upsets me writing this. I do notice, I do look closely at people’s relationship with their mums and dads and sometimes I wish that I could be like that.

Picking Up the BEST BITS!!!

There are many situations which leave us feeling Happy, Sad, and Excited, Energetic etc. But these feelings are developed through the interactions of one person to another. Many can be casual conversations and gossip but on the other hand these can be developed through arguments.
Occurrence of these does not always wind up the way you want but they cannot be hidden from as in life you will always come across situations where you have not volunteered for. However, whatever this particular situation that we are facing is – we must learn from them and pick out the best bits. You may think that within an argument there is no best bit. But you are wrong and you cannot disagree with this as within an argument there must be a place where you could be wrong. The best bit is the area where you must pick up from and mend it, the evil of arguments always come from the inside of yourself and you must learn from it. You cannot give into you’re feelings of inferiority. It may seem hard at times to control, but I am doing my best although it is a step by step process. I too find it difficult to cope and blocking out all the best bits - but the truth is that I have never actually thought to seek it. Nor in memories or moments where you can always look back to - I have never given the best bits colour and let them glow, let them stand out to everything else.

All I know is everyone underestimates a situation, conversation and believe that they are just day by day moments that happen but if you do not pick out the best bit of these moments and feed you memories with those that help you learn or help you realise the person that you are then maybe you should start. It is never too late to pick out the best moment of a situation as deepen it into your memory so to look back and believe that it will glow and stand out even if it does not make you smile, cry or whether it hold great deal of significance.

I am going to be honest. I do not know why I am writing this entry. It may not make any sense to anyone reading but I know exactly what I am talking about. Maybe I am trying to explain that even in situations that are worst then those you normally experience – you can still pick out a best bit from them and let it glow for a little while.

CATCH UP!!

I need to catch up on ONE TREE HILL..I think I stopped on season 4 and there are a bunch of characters that have appeared and I have no idea who they are, who they are related to, How they came out.....Blah Blah Blah.....
But I will...I just started Uni so I guess now is not the time...so......I shall wait..!!

....

Here We Go.....

I have not updated for a while so here I go.
It has been a while since I could not sleep and be woekn up half way through the Night, but I guess it just needs some getting used to. Ever realised we always drift back into the past. Inevitable that is.
I am slowly adapting back to the University life, Going to bed early and gettin up early. However there is one thing different this year and that is I am Driving .....so to speak I have to beat the traffic.
Also learnt he road of Bristol.....
I do admit that I have a Disorder for road Directions since I need to drive around or on the same path at least 5 times before it is fully intacted into my memory.
But I guess I am not the only one........hopefully!

It is getting late. Although this post is not as long as my previous ones, I am tired. So.......... Goodnight!!....

Let Time Stand Still....

I am enjoying my summer holiday of alot at this very moment and to be honest I do not really want to go back to university. I like how this is. I am so care free and relaxed that I do not want to turn my back on it.
So sometimes i wish the time can freeze. To a certain point where you have a true smile, with people you would never give up and just let time revolve around that moment until I ask it to stop.

In this summer, I have met alot of people. New people that I may have seen around but just did not know who they are. I have been making numerous trips to the Cinemas. In this Summer I probably been to the cinema more times then I ever did in the past 20 years ......Irony. I do live it.
Making close bonds with new friends is just as important as knotting them up with the old friends. Never throw old friends out just because you made new one because that is a pretty Ugly thing to do. Even if some friends annoy you, just break from them for a while and then drift back in. I keep ties with both, Old friends were the ones who discovered you the way you are so they are very important. Actually I feel bad distinguishing friends as Old and New. So instead I will just call them friends. Even if you break up with one they are still once your friend and it is harsh you would cast them as your Old friend.
Non the less, I have been dong the usual catch up with everyone and using my time wisely to make sure that I get to see those that I have not seen since we wandered of to the world of University. I still mange to find it difficult to see everyone but then again I have seen eeryone I wanted to see at least once. I find that it is beautiful. It has been a year and you still see eachother is one of the most precious thing to hold onto. I also love the fact that when I see everyone we still have things in common and conversations never stop, it is one of the best memories that anyone can have and one of the best things taht could happen to anyone. I wish these moments will never stop.

However, I do realise that as we grow older and as each year passes we all have differnt goals and ambitions that we wish to achieve. Gradually we will all walk our own paths and slowly drift. I know this will happen , it is inevitable. The time will come after Graduation. Once everyone Graduates -- this is where the drifting starts. If I am honest. I think I may be the first to leave. I have said to myself many many times that I will not live my whole life here in the UK so........

Well....as the post is titled.

"LET TIME STAND STILL FOR THE MOMENT THAT WE WANT TO TREASURE THE MOST AND LET THAT MEMORY HAVE NO MISSING PIECES"

Moving - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Moved

To be honest I hate the fact that people move on too quickly, or they change to quickly. It seems that the person I met, before they are moving on has already moved on, and it kinda annoys me that they do not seem to care about anyone else after they have moved on.
Call me selfish, but sometimes I like I like it when people stay the some and have not moved on. But I guess everyone has to come from the Moving to Moved stage, but surely not as quick as some experience I have faced.

Being Strong....

We all hold a vulnerable side to us, a side where we know that is fragile and with the slightest pain that we come in contact with, we will fall apart. We all have a weak side, where we are scared to face it and find it difficult to fight against this.

Instead, we suppress these and hold it against us as a memory in fear of facing it we try not to think of them.

But, I believe that we should carry all memories with us even those that hurt or are painful we should carry them even if they do nothing but hurt you or those you wish to forget. Because as long as you carry them by your sides, as long as we keep holding on, one day they will not hurt you anymore, when you have the strength.

This is why I believe memories are precious to me and we should not forget a single one. Memories let's us hold on to all memories close to our hearts and I believe that we will hold on and never forget as they will no longer hurt when I find the strength.

What If - Jason Derulo

A song worth the REPEAT button on my IPOD!!

So What If?

I guess we all ask that question if we think about What would have happened and 90% of the time  - The WHAT IF we are always thinking about never happens.
Why is that?
Do we not have the courage to make WHAT IF happen?
Or does that chance just never comes?
Think about all the moments where you think WHAT IF? - And then come back and tell me why nothing ever happened!

Only 10 Things...

I hate the way you talk to me,

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car,

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right,

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around,

and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,

not even close

not even a little bit

not even at all.

RED RED RED!!!

My Eye has said to have been caught with CONJUCTIVITIS....however, the medicines I have recieved to treat them seems not to be working and hopefully I am just tired and it is not spreading to my other eye...because I will need to invest in a pair of sunglasses to hide it!....
Help!!!!!...
I will book doctor tomorrow because it is becoming rather no fun at alll....and I kinda look like a freak!!!

Soul Of Charaterising.

As we all know, from the moment we were born we have a character that makes us who we are. I remember during a psychology lesson there was a debation around the subject of whether you can be born with character and personality. I will admit that I did say NO.
But thinking harder and into more depth, there is no possibility that one person can be brought into this world with no character as this is the main human nature that defines and clarifies the person that we are. We connect with people with the character that we hold within and use this as a way to let us communicate, however we choose those that match ourselves, our personality is the main thing that needs to be accepted, for it to be praised on by others in order for use to develop more into it. But I guess those who accept you as the way you are probably are your friens and family!

I do not really know my character or personality very clear so maybe my friends will tell me one day when I ask...!    ;o]

Love??

I watched the latest episode of One Tree Hill.
What I find beautiful about One Tree Hill is the way all the characters express themselves, even though it is a script in which they have memorised but the expression that they use becomes real. They talk and act as it was actually happening to them, not just because they need to but you can feel that they really try to put emotion into their role and I believe that is what makes the show extra special.


This Episode  - "I and Love and You" revolves around romance, family and forgiveness


Dan Scott:-

"Falling in love is the easiest thing you’re ever gonna do. It’s the most exciting thing, the most powerful thing. That’s why falling out of love hurts like hell, but falling in love…there’s nothing better. It’s the best it ever gets"

"We all want to be loved…to be happy. So why aren’t we? Because we’ve become experts at sabotaging our own happiness. Feeling like victims, when in fact it’s the choices we make, the bad habits, the vices, the inability to show love and compassion. These are the things that tear us down. We’re not victims. We’re assassins when it comes to love and happiness"

This is a quote that I want to remeber for a long time because it is true. I'm not the best person to give love advice as I still seeking for this feeling but it is understandable that Love is a incredibly powerful thing and can be placed in front of many other piorites that we care so deeply for such as friends and family. But the thing we never question ourselves is why does Love never last for some and for others can last forever and eternity? There must be something that we are doing wrong which makes it a difficult thing to survive on, because when one person falls out of Love they crumble and become the most vulnerable and fragile that they can ever be. If this was the outcome then why try so hard and go so far just to let what you've built up for so long fall onto you, why go through the burden of carrying it on your shoulders and becoming love sick for a depressive period of time?


Even though I'm not the one to speak, but I know because it's LOVE. People sacrifice their lives for this and if that is not suffice to those who are reading then I don't know what is! It is a nratural feeling and I believe it is extra special for the first time, although it can be hard to fall out of Love for the first time and this is where we see ourselves to be the Victim. From the damage of Love from past relationships could develop our lust and desire for more which is where the concept of 'Assasin' comes in. If we cannot recover from the broken heart we seek else where to cover it or prey for those who you believe will fall for it. Others cannot let go of their past Love resulting for them to hold on forever where they will be stuck in one stable place until they feel less guilt for moving on, where they believe that their other half would want them too.


Love can also be used as a object for Forgiveness. Everyone has their wrong doings within a relationship, some are easy and deserve the forgiveness from the special person while some are way beyond the forgiveness state. However, forgiveness cannot be judged by those standing on the edge as they may not know what each of them will be feeling from deep down.


I guess this feeling cannot be fully experienced unless you gain it for yourself.

You Have To Give Them Credit

I have decided to write this on a rainy day as I got woken up by someone trimming the hedges. But writting this on a rainy day at home in bed can clear my mind and focus on what I want to say so that I will be able to capture all I want to say in this writting piece.
You have to give them credit? I guess you are all wondering who or what to.
It simple - FRIENDS!
I could not imagine life without them, it would leave life being too simple as well as being too boring. They bring colour to your life or even bring yourself to life. Having them around allows you to uncover yourself, find that special person from inside and drag it out discovering a personality that everyone can get on with or find it amusing in many ways. I cannot find or even think to imagine that anyone could or will do a good job to walk in the shoes of any of my friends, we grow stronger as time goes by and hopefully never grow apart because is that not a big loss? I still keep contact with my friends from previous schools  - know them for 6-10 years now. It does seem that it has flown by, but if they are a true friends - 'once a friend, always a friend and from there forever there for eachother' -  It may sound corny but if you look back and think through all the memeories that you all went through and experienced, it will put a smile on your face, push you into a laughing fit or even shed a tear for a special moment. But when we think back, happy memories always come first while those memories we choose to block always follow behind.
I like to say that there are always happy memeories, most of them are captured on photographs.
I do love taking photos of any occasion, from this you capture a moment that can be special and can be viewed whenever you like and for as long as you like, the photo that you you look at and say to yourself 'Everything Will Be Ok' . . . . Because when there is a photo taken worth your time then you know it will be. I love how photographs capture a moment naturally, I love all my photos however weird or horrible I look because if it makes people laugh then it is worth it, and on the plus side you may never pull the same face again so worth keeping it.

Everyone reading must have seen Friends, the hit comedy series talking about 6 friends Monica, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, Phoebe and Ross? If you have not you should. Everything that happens in that group of freinds will happen to us, as we grow up we always find things to keep eachother amused and it does not matter what job they do, what people they meet or if they had plans, they are always there for eachother. And I like to think that hopefully my life runs along that of Friends very similarly becuase that shows how we will stick together even if we have our fall outs, up and downs.

As mentioned everyone should give their FRIENDS credit. Block out all the fall outs and just have fun while they hang around. We only live once!
I am happy with my FRIENDS and I would not replace any of them for anything else in the world as I believe that they are the people who can bring out that special person inside of you.......

And I Wish Myself A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Although, my brithday is not official until 5am as that was the time I was brought into the world.
Well twenty years old......
oh dear I have officially lost my TEEN but I guess there are alot more stuff to look forward to..!
I would really like to graduate now.....It just looks fun!

So I will update some time soon!
Right now it is really bed time!

Happy Birthday Hannah Karmun Chan!!!

The Clock Is Ticking!

Is it not questionable that a year can go by pretty quick, while days can be slow?
Time does go by really quick every year as you may notice as each of your birthday comes around.....
I can say that mine will be official in 2 days time or for now 1 day.
I was born 17th July 1990, I will be 20 this year and loosing my 'Teen'.
I dare say that this happens to everyone but I think we have all been there, everytime when a birthday come round do you not think about the past year, before you turn another year older towards death?
I redirect  my memory to the year before and there are alot of things that have changed since my 19th Birthday, big and small affecting me greatly or not as much. But the previous year if I can reflect has one major change and that was University, it is very different and can change you completely. I have become more independent in the past year. Met loads of new people while some others drift away, but if you cannot hold onto them forever then maybe it is fate that they are to drift away. You know the special people in your life that will forever be by your side to make you laugh, make you cry, or even there to insult you but all for good reasons.
When each birthday goes by, that is a year. Not when it is NEW YEAR, it is when your birthday come around and it should be a special moment, celebrating in style whether with friends or family or both. Spend it with someone special or spend it doing a good deed. Everyone always come up with new year resolutions but how about birthday resolution because that is a full year to us, unless you are born on New Years then there is no argument to hold against.
Just to be different as I am hitting my TWENTY, I will make some kind of birthday resolution. And I will stick to this, but I will not tell you just in case I am not successful. But either way I will have BIRTHDAY RESOLUTIONS!!

So Happy Birthday to me in advance, you may think it is sad but you are always the first person to wish yourself happy birthday!!

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

I recently watched this film, although I think that the storyline or plot was not very strong it was  a beautiful film. I love the strong friendship between the four girls as they were always there for eachother even when they were having their ups and downs. The most interesting thing about this film is that it expresses itself in many ways and not just Romance and love stories. Each friend always go through something different and believe it or not only one out of the four finds love.
Lena - Shy and quiet went to Greece for the summer and fell in love. I think this was the warmest story out of all four friends. It was very sweet and magical in a way as well, this was my favourite friend story - they fought till the end.
However, I think that the pants do not bring magic or miracles to all friends, although I would like to believe it does but I really can't. Everything that happens could be due to coincidence, the nature of how one person has affected another to change - leading to the endings that were meant to be.
Carmen had to be the character that had the worst heartbreak, neglected by her father who left her when she was young making her throw a rock through the windo as a result to show how angry or upset she was.
Bridget's mum passed away when she was a young child, I believe that she misses her dearly and to help her forget she would try to divert her attention elsewhere, so through boys. I guess she is rather pretty therefore also being a flirt helping her get what she want. She realises this at the end, and what better then expressing your feelings to your best friends.
Tibby, the weird one. Met a friend while all the others were away. Did not get of with a good start with bailey, but I guess we all get used to those hang abouters. They grew closer after Tibby learnt she was ill, and unfortunately they could no longer hang together.

What I really love about this film is the strong friendship bond that they are experiencing, they stick together through thick and thin which in life is probably the most non extinctable bond apart from love. Family, Friends and Love are the three main things we survive on, because we know without these life would not be as easy as it is now. However hard you think life is now, try facing it without these three vital life needs. That would be difficult!!

Hannah's Top Ten Songs!

1. Airplanes - B.o.b Ft Hayley Williams

2. I Like The Way You Lie - Eminem Ft. Rihanna

3. We Are Young - Mika (Kick Ass)

4. Issues - Saturdays

5. Superman - Five For Fighting

6. The Best Day - Taylor Swift

7. Speeding Cars - Imogen Heap

8. Faithfully - Journey/Glee Cast

9. From Yesterday - 30 Seconds To Mars

10. I Like - Keri Hilson

Crazy World Cup?

The WORLD CUP so far have uncovered some interesting suprises,
Some of the top fottball groups are already out......and I was rooting for ARGENTINA vs BRAZIL for the finals, but.....problem is they are both out.....
I guess that will not be happening.
France and Italy out already.
Holland has gone through today winning against Uruguay
Spain vs Germany tomorrow, have a feeling Germany will be winning since they have been playing extremely well in their past matches. However, I would prefer Spain winning!

Although, talking about Crazy World Cup - If ENGLAND got through, that would be crazy...  *Grins*
^_~

Year 2011...

In 2011, I will be on my placement for work experience as part of my university course and I have deceided that I really want to work in either Canada or Hong Kong. I'm kind of falling in love with Canada at the moment, it's incredible, different in its own individual way and the place is just different, place to explore  - and I don't know there is something special about that place. I guess you will not know until you get there, I will want to live there in future....To be honest I do not see myself staying in the UK for the rest of my life - But there is always a part of you who wants to stay here. The place we call HOME, the place we always come to whatever happens. It can be hard to leave everything you built up over the years behind - Friendship, family, relationships and the memories that were and forever stay by your side, the times where you can just drive up to your friends when ever they are free, usualy places that you always go.
But....Life is a challenge right?
We need to get ourselves out there and try our strength to the max, we cannot always linger in the same area all the time, we need to be adventurous so that we know that we have lived our life to a good standard and know that we have achieved the most out of our life before we run out of time.

I will be brave and stand up to my weaknesses of being afraid of doing something before trying,
I will get a placement abroad and I will make the most of it!

Let's Make History and Repeat 1966 (2nd Half)

Let the Second Half Begin......
Rooney starts of with the ball and passes it onto Barry who had a close encouter to score only for the Germans to get in the way and Barry had a lot of space to play with - and with that wide open space it would have happened but maybe next time.
Lampard - Rooney - Defoe, a very Good job. If only Defoe could have kept the ball for a split of a second longer Rooney would have made it in time to back him up and just a little bit more pace
Really Good for DAVID JAMES...He is doing a very good job at the moment ...Lets hope he can keep it up!

Where is the DEFENCE, there seems to be lack of communication between players. Open your eye England players, the Germans are given far too much frre space to dribble the ball around. With that wide open space they can score twice in a row.
Here he is JOE COLE....swopped in as a super sub in at 64.40 minutes into the game..My My brilliant isn't he....so ethusiastic of getting out there and playing his part for England.....
Loving his skill throughout the game, too bad Rooney dropped when Cole passed the Ball. But on the bright side we got a free penalty kick.
Introducing Lampard to take the free kick......and with the Germans flimsy wall you would have thought that they would have managed to get the ball pass them and as a counter attack Germans have full control of the ball along with the whole field, There was absolutely no defence from the bottom field to the top field except for David James himself, and this is where they scored their third goal leaving majority of the England fans absolutely devastated......  3-1 , they always make the same mistake over and over again. Have they not noticed yet??
Only takes 3 minutes and 14 seconds for the Germans to score their 4th goal, yes I repeat their 4th goal......
They kicked it and it hits the net....
Making this 4-1....
Very depressing game indeed....
Seems like little girls prancing around on the playground...Absolute bollocks going on here right now......
Defoe has just been subbed off for HESKY......Why? I do not know......
ENGLAND have to score nooow...
They need to score right now....else this will be the WORST World Cup for England in history..
I would name some of the Germany players but their names are long and complicated...and it would take me a while to copy their names down so I thought I just refer to them as German players...

I have to be very honest and say that this second half of this game is rather painful to watch and very stressing along side, Depressing....!!

At 80.41 Minuted  Gerrard nearly scored only to be blocked by goaly...Neveu
Johnson got a Yellow card...absolute balls..........even though i would think that it was only a nudge...nothing serious obviously the German did not keep his balance properly.....

Germany Subbed on of their players..... 8 for 9 Stefan Kiessling
85.52 we have a few minutes to score 3 goals for extra time ....but looks like that will not be happening......
Glen johnson off and Shaun Wright Phillips coming on...Just minutes before the game end and victory entitles to Germany, Why Capello decided to Sub at this time, nobody knows?...And if you look into the crowd alot of England fans are muttering their mouths to the word 'WHY?' It does not make that big of a difference....

Rooney at 87 minutes.....has taken the corner hoping to score making up from the embarassment only for the ball to be knocked back by Neveu, same happened when Gerrard took the corner which was only kicked straight into the hands of Neveu. Is it England players are just kicking into the wron direction, or the ball is really easy to catch or even, Maybe....just maybe...NEVEU is just a incredibly good goalie....?
This is a painful England Game in History.......Only 1 minute to go and I guess its all over till 4 years time with
no reputation to live up to....
Beckam looks dissapointed and Capello has finally sat down as he knows there is no hope.......
C'mon england you know you must be doing someting wrong.....
THINK THINK THINK.....
The ball got offside and 15 seconds to go....

And There goes the Whistle, GERMANY will be joining those 8 hopefuls in the Quarter Finals as per usual....their last win was in 1990...!!
Rooney.....what is up with your performance......along with Terry also
Lampard..Well Donish (thats probably not even a word)
Ironicly I think DAVID JAMES have done a very good job so well done on him....
Loving Joe cole....
And to the END
Welcome home ENGLAND......

Here is where I ramble about what went wrong in my opinion..
DEFENCE DEFENCE where the fuck is it.......
No communication.....
Upson was not the best for Defence and also It does not seem Like Terry enjoys working with him......
WHY are none of the players giving them, their all....Do they not get paid enough to play at their best or does that cost anoth 10 million?..

Better luck in 4 years time ENGLAND.....I actually thought we could do it this year.....

(do apologise for any spelling mistakes or grammar...)

Let's Make History and Repeat 1966.... (1st Half)

I have decided to write this post after half time......But I will write the second half as it goes as I missed the first 13 minutes....
So at the beggining of this game, everthing was great, you can hear the screaming people and the blasts of the horns blaring from the crowd. All this died down when Germany scored first within the 20 minutes by Klose - a incredibly rubbish goal may I also add, However only 20 minutes into the game so I guess there is still hope. Later on Podoloski scored a few mintues later that every England fan believed that there is no Hope of us getting in at alll...
All Hail Upson for making the first Goal for ENGLAND.......Because now we believe that we are back up for the chase, do beleive that DAVID JAMES have saved a very important goal for England as this could have killes us bad.
Lampard kicked in once again and the REFEREE blasted that it was not in, First they get in the Flippin way and now they say that the ball was not in.....
It was over the Fucking line, how can that not be in, does it have to hit the NET for it to be in. Oh My God I am fuming right now....
If Wimbledon game have computer techonology to show whether or not the ball is in why the hell not with FOOTBALL....!!  I Have to say that BALL WAS IN...!!! We should be Tie right now with the Germans standing at 2 goals each.......
Also I would like to add that England Players really need to close those gaps and have the whole field covered, I have noticed that there is a lack of defences as there are alot of open spaces....!!!
Loved the Booing at the end of the first half.......REFEREES are absoulute assholes effectively.....
C'MON.....

Half Time OVER.....

Can You Feel It Too............

Okay so my results came out and all was good.
Should I not be relaxed, happy and relieved that they are all over for now. But for some reason I feel really uncomfortable like there is something missing at this moment right now and I cannot place what it is yet. It is rather irritating, but I cannot find what it is.....this feeling...
It makes you feel all stress inside and the worst part is that there is nothing you can do about it. Well nothing I can do about since I do not know why I am feeling like this.
Then again I cannot be the only one that feel like this, I'm you, the one reading have experienced this feeling and I do not have to explain that it is annoying and stressing at all times...!

I have deceided to sleep on it, although it may not dissapear at least I can stop thinkng about what ever I need because I just do not know....!!!

What I Have So Far...

In one of my previous blogs I talked about 'TALENT' I have found it and not necessarily referring to myself but I was browsing through Youtube like any bored person would do who have nothing better to do or just to waste time...but I found this....

Sam Tsui GLEE Audition!! (True Colors)   - He may not be extremely good looking or handsome, but he has talent. I think his voice is amazing and I love how he has different levels of tones for different parts of the song, I like the pace and especially adore the style that he has adopted to sing this song in. I think the style you sing your song is makes it original as well as keeping the song indifferent from the normal cover.
I say that this dude has talent....His voice is not extreme, nor annoying but calm, clean and relaxing...I would not mind listening to him all day....
Especially with this cover that he did - Need You Now
He is brilliant.....

Do You Have A LIST.......?

A list containg people you have a 'Crush' on and ordered into the most like to not as much but still like......On this list there is a avergae of three or maybe less two people....
Unless you are cool enough you would have ONE.......But most of my friends have averaged two people on their list. Funny thing is I thought when you like someone it is normally ONE and not multiple people......
One of my friends have managed to cut each one down like preys, basically expressing themselves and then move on to the next when rejected, although I think that is ethically wrong in a way and seems a bit disrespectful I still do not understand how you can like so many people at the one time. My Crushes or LIkes have only ever been one person at a time...Oh it is INSANE.......no..it is normal.....!
But then again I do not have one person on my list at this moment...sad I know.....

Lets wait and see shall we...?

Relieved!!....

We have recieved out results much more earlier then the stated date....
And I have passed everything, even though they are not sky high marks and averaging a 67% - I am relieved that I do not have any resits to do and just enjoy the summer without thinking to revise or worrying about grades.....
Now all I have to do is work incredibly hard to keep my 2:1 mark or better for the next 3 years....will still have to keep my fingers crossed and work harder then ever!!...

But WOW.....what a sense of relievement......Mum and Dad said the marks were okies...so I guess that is fine!
Also I passed my language class, however only passed with 72% - thought I get at least 80 but at least it's a pass!......

This sense of relievement....what can I say!?
It is very relaxing and happy that I have achieved decent marks for all the modules....!

All I need to do now is support ENGLAND more freely with their game against Germany this Sunday...!!

Shout, Shout , Shout It All Out.....

What a GLORIOUS win that was for ENGLAND.....and I am guessing that everyone is absolutely over the moon because England got through as runner up while USA took the lead in Group C.
It feels like that my last post on the team has been heard as Hesky has been replaced by DEFOE who scored the only and winning goal for the game that sends England through to the next stage. I would have wanted Rooney to score another goal for the night  - it was close but no luck...!
And JOE COLE has finally got a piece of the action, substituting for Rooney. Many England fans wanted Cole to play the game and Capello must have heard their voices.
England - The Three Lions have really pulled their stuff together tonight and defence was higher then the last two previous game preventing their opposing team, SOLVENIA to score the goal, especially the close encounter of the ball getting scored three times only to be knocked back by Terry first round , then Johnson recoverd by standing in the way. Final kick out of despreatness has made the Solvenia player wanting it too much only to kick the angle off to the side boards.
Despite the fact the many of the England players have attempted to score the goal for their title of 2010, we have gone through as Runner Up clashing with GERMANY on sunday at 3pm again.....They are tough competition so Englasd will need to be the Three Lions to play a fierce and defensive game if they are to beat Gemany who have won three World Cup titles so far.....!
Lets carry on keeping our fingers crossed and let the wave of White and Red flutter against the wind and hope that England will pull it through to the Semi Final, Finals and Become the WORLD CUP Winners of 2010 following in the footsteps of those in 1966.....!!

C'MON ENGLAND

Ego's Unsecurity....!

I have recieved a email a few days back writting about my University results being out on the 8th July.
I am really nervous, scared as I really do not want to resit. I do not want to go through the hassel of revising again and looking over the notes. Also, it will cost £50 to retake each module that you fail in. I now realise why it is impossible for people to even attend university looking at all the charges that they include. Although I guess it pressures all students to work hard first time round.

I really hope that I pass everything, I'm trying not to think about it but i find that hard to take off my mind sometimes.

Ahhh....keep your fingers crossed for me guys, although I think I passed everything but not sure.....  hmph!

=/.....

Oh Yeah...!

I hate being TIRED

Enough Said!

=]

C'mon ENGLAND!!!

I guess I will show my support too.......
England have played rather lifeless in their last two games and their fans have shared their opinions about their performance, I gotta say they were not great feedback that the England group have received.
Rooney lost it with his foul temper due to their game against Algeria constantly moving with a DRAW....and knowing Rooney, he will get rather annoyed.
But, I guess the players are feeling the pressure for their final chance that they have to position themselves in the World Cup if not they need to - pack. However, team mates do not seem to be getting along at the moment after John Terry spilt the beans and also Cappello may have others strategies for himself depending on how the game will be played on 23rd June at 3pm against Solvenia.


England Football group is currently holding only 2 points in their group while Solvenia is taking the lead with 4. England is usually good footballers, what's happening?
I do believe that some footballers should be there at the beggining of the game rather then sat on the side as substitutes, maybe Defoe should replace Hesky - Crouch could be swapped to play for longer and where is Joe Cole?


There is a lot of pessimism that has been rumoured that the White and Red flag should not be waving in this years World Cup, But should we all not be Optimistic?..I know it can be hard but miracles happen and maybe if England pulls it together for their final round we could actually get through......there is hope technically, so let's all show our support!!


I cross my finger for the team and hope that they have the strength to pick themselves up to play a courageous, memorable and a winning game.

C'MON ENGLAND

Airplanes! ...

"Can we pretend that Airplanes in the night sky like

Shooting Stars

I could really use a WISH right now"

B.o.B ft.Hayley Williams (Paramore) - Airplanes

Fairytales....

We have all seen a FAIRYTALE either in films, cartoons or even for a wedding day....but I just want to say that Fairytales do not exist and has not ever happened to anyone on this planet.
Although, I believe that if life itself was a fairytale for everyone it would be mostly perfect, a much happier place and just seems to be much easier option to live with.
I guess the life is not that easy and it will never get any easier. We do not always get what we want, and once we do  - we think to ourselves whether or not we want it, if we have the strength to commit to it. I think what makes Fairytales so different to real life is the fact that as we grow up we have to face many obstacles and not just one, at the end we do not always get a Happy Ending because everyday changes and ahead of our paths there is a sense of uncertainty which prevents us from walking into that direction.

There is one problem that everyone face and I believe that they find it rather hard to face that moment, this is moving on. Life is what it is, we cannot make decison for other people as we can only make our own decisons. If they cannot change their mind or come about to solve a problem then maybe you can be brave enough to take on the burden to move on  and change your ways of thinking.
Life changes everyday, and this can affect us either greatly and deeply or it could be a minor change however we should not fight this, we know we cannot change what has already happened. Therfore, we should learn to life with it change ourselves to the changes of the surrounding, just go with the flow, we cannot control what happens to us, what happens to people you care about. And sometimes we need to take the selfish option and think about ourselves, think about how change has affected us and what we can do about it.......how we can control ourselves in line with change. Afterall it cannot be fought against and those who try will fail.

We may not be able to merge our lives with Fairytales and ask for a Perfect World....
So, we have to stay true to ourselves, believe in ourselves because only You can make the decison, only you can control the decison you make in line with change. I guess this what makes me who I am.....
Be brave and take each day as it comes and go with the flow, do not let the minor things get to you. Don't live your life pondering around a 'What If?' stage, because if it did not happen you cannot go back and change it so let it go. Relieve yourself. Look towards the future and present but don't forget the past just remember but do not dwell upon it.....

I guess this is True.. Not just for me but for everyone!

"I've had to say good-bye more times than I may have like, but everyone can say that. And no matter how many times we have to do it - even if it's for the greater good, it still stings. And although we will never forget what we've given up, we owe it to ourselves to keep moving forward. What we can't do is live our lives afraid of the next good-bye because chances are they are not going to stop. The trick is to recognize when a good-bye can be a good thing - when it's a chance to start again."

Ugly Betty  - Back In Her Place.

Talent

Talent I belive is the one thing which makes you stand out from the crowd, makes you the most original out of everyone else and the best thing about TALENT is the flexibility in growing it into your own style.  Everyone has a Talent, they may not know it or may not have found it but it is deep within in them and one day it will grow out of you. This is what I believe, and my point of view cannot be argued against as everyone can treasure their point of view as valid as everything has right and wrong, it all ties the knot in our opinions.

I personally think I have no Talent, but I guess somewhere along the lines of my life I could find one.

Musicians are probably the most talented, Piano players have chosen the most creative piece of instrument to focus in. The soft and smooth sound when the key is it can be used for all sorts of music and is very flexible the ways it can be played in.

Talents can be languages maybe? Numerous languages one person can speak? You tell me.

Talents populise in singing, many successful singers in this world, ranging from age, gender and styles of singing.

My Talents will be discovered soon!

The Place Where We Call Home....

I have been home for my second week in now and I do think that my parents are getting a bit annoying. I guess that's what they are here for. Or, maybe I am not use to having them around for the next three months comapred to my University life I only see them on weekends and on holidays but I think I will be able to live with it easily.

I am not looking forward to work so  much though, I want to be out there working independently without their support. I guess it is okay for me to say selfishly that I am really looking forward to my year where I can work abroad. I want to be able ewxperience my life on my own and use myself to the best of my ability, to be able to fulfill my ambition and fill my gaps of inspiration with something that I enjoy and can expand my capability of working independently to the max. I tried looking for work experience so that I do not have to be stuck in the shop working, little do my parents understand that it can be rather stressing working with them but lets all keep that to ourselves.

During my exam period for university I could not wait for it to be over, but now I am looking forward to going back. Strangely.

I don't understand the feeling that I am having, I think I just want to be more excited about my life, I want to be much more adventurous, I want to have a opportunity to travel around the world and do something in my life that not everyone thinks about each day. If I was useful enough I would like to head toa third world country and experience their life, live like them each day and see how their culture works.
If you experiences other cultures, would you be willing to change yourself a bit more?

Coming home is my shell, this is where all my friends are, my family and I know that I willl be fine. No risks to take and nothing will be different. But, I do not want this forever as I want to challenge my self and I know this day will come round pretty soon.

The Four Wheeled Vehichle.....

We have all been in one, Drove one, Stepped in fromt of one and if you are one of the unlucky ones even hit by one. Some can make driving look damn easy but people like me make driving look like that you should put your seatbelt on and bubble wrap yourself.....when I say bubblewrap I mean loads of it.
I do believe that I am okay on the main road driving along........only thing I can not be very keen on are roundabouts. Painted roundabout are the worst especially when you use them to make a U-Turn..... A bit of a disaster......well I did not crash.....just had to drive on the pavement a bit.
Ummm...what else do we do in cars?....Oh yeah Parking.....
Oh Baby are you gonna enjoy this..........My strongest manouvere will be my three point turn since I do that near enough eveyday.... Worst I guess will be my parallel park......Last time I did this it took me about 10 minutes.....People were watching.....someone offered to park my car and after I used my other side of the brain I realised that driving into the space and trying to park my car does not work, So I decided that maybe I should just pull along side the car in front and PARALLEL PARK. But then again one friend have also mentioned that, She was a good friend. She got out the car to help me park my car and at the same time not hit anyone's car. At the end I had a applause and a friendling shouted out 'She Did It!'...Brilliant yes?
Parking my car by diving the head into the space first I will give 60% that are successful first time and the rest I would be honest to say that I have to reverse out and go back in and If I have to reverse back once again I would actually move off and find somewhere else to park just not to make peopl wait for me.....
Especially old people, I mean they are old. So I guess they do not want to wait too long since they are probably many years old.....!
I can see that people can drive with ease esspecially on the motorway....Speed makes it hard to control you wheel...for me that is.I seem to swerve when I change gear...but hey.peopl are quick enough to realise yeah!
I think I ranted enough about my driving and i will post more if there are any that are even more exciting then this.But for now Drvie on dudes!

We live, We Laugh, We Cry and all this will come to an END!

Hurrah Hurrah!
All exams have been finished, completed, dusted and no more shall they be in my life until Next year unless I have to resit, but hey lets be Optimistic shall we.
I am back for a night and a day in University to tidy up my room, dusting, mopping, sweeping and wiping. Chores never end.

And for Thursday I have applied for this PAL thing, Pal Assisted Learning - Basically just guiding the first years through the module. It is actually a very difficult position to take up especially as I believe that I am the weakess candidate out of everyone that have applied. Therefore I am 70% sure that I will not get the palce. Ahhh....I guess it is worth the try and at least I can say to myself that I have given it ago evn though it may not have been a success. So after this day I will go back to my hometown BRIDGWATER, Somerset. Live my life for a few months and gradually mend myself into the structure of university once again in September.
Only 3 more years, It does sound incredibly long but it will fly by and we may not even notice it. I am debating to myself where I will be in 3 years time. The Class will need to find placement next year for the following year and I a tad scared, could be due to my self esteem. I mean competition out there is pretty tough and there is no one you can fall back on if you do, therefore you will need to pick yourself back up and try again. LIFE. Pretty damn awesome in so many ways.
So, enough about the future and focus on the Present.
Lets live each day as it is since we cannot change the future, all we can do is look forward to it. Tomorrow is Today, Today is yesterday. Each day is the same which means the only difference is how we live it.
We live it to laugh, to cry, to smile through each day as it comes. Live it with friends and family so let's carry on as we know that these days will long to be ending.
Let each day be the beginning of always.
I will promise myself from now that I will not think too much of the future but look forward in my life and try to make it the best as you only live once. Why not live it to the fullest even though work gets in the way or education or lack of money. But I have a nice group of friends to make my life worthwhile. They are there for me, They are different and although I may be the most abnormal they do not seem that normal to me either.
Originality is the key for the pieces to fit together I guess......

Let's Ride.....

First ride of University is nearly over , last exam on friday.......
Now all I do is wait for the next ride to come along in September and the following two which will occur after the next. To be honest I am not lookng forward to it, Education seems to be getting rather boring and I am finding it a bit dry.......
Let's hope, fingers crossed that I will pass every exam that I have sat.
Had Business Applications today, hopefully it went okay but then I cannot be sure as I do not know whether the information I put down was correct, or if I have related the case study in context of the Question. Ah... so many question and the answer is lurking in a couple months time. It can be nerve racking and scary but on the other side a great relieve to know what you got. However, there is no point worrying about them now, What done is done.
There is something I do not like about the ending of a year in University, friends will start moving away, going back home far from the UK and god knows when I will see them again. It is quite sad. But I am priveleged to have met them and have them by my side as a friend. I will miss you and I will remember them because they came along and they changed me in the person that I am.

Another special thing happened to me today, they day Wednesday 26th May 2010, I spoke to a dear friend that I have not had contact with for a while now. She moved back to Hong Kong around 3/4 years ago and she has just graduated from Nursing Degree, I am very happy for her. She has also told me that she is planning a wedding which will take place around 2012. It is very happy news. I am very happy for her.
What is special is that we have a strong friendship bond between us even though we have not seen each other for a few years now. It is hard to replace a friendship bond but it is really easy to make - We have known eachother for 7 years now and WOW does time fly. It does not seem to have been 7 years now and I think it is pretty amazing that you can know one person for so long and not even realise that you have known them for so long. I miss her quite a bit but I guess we both have to live our life walk our way.
I remember the first time we met. Her englsih was not really good and she asked me 'Do you speak cantonese' and in reply as I did not understand her very well I said 'NO'......That will always be the most memorable picture for me and I will never forget that day.

I have decided that in two years time we get to have work experience. You can go anywhere you want and I will try to land a placement in Hong Kong.

There is one thing I fear the most though, is that at the end of University life what will happen?. Where would I go or be? .... I noted to myself that I will not stay in the UK for my career and will move abroad whether to Hong Kong, Canada or somewhere which is not UK. So, from this I guess the worst fear that I will be facing is saying Goodbye, but I have a few years left so let's finishing riding them first. Agreed!

The Time of The Year...

I thought I give a update since I have not been on for a while,
It is the Time of EXAMS, lethal and stressing as they can be it can be rather difficult for me to concentrate on my revision as it get incredibly boring.
I, so far Have sat 2 exams.
One , Understanding Finacial Information - Messed it up a bit by answering more questions then require therefore wasting most of my time.
Second, My mandarin listening test. I know I got one answer wrong but I have passed.
The other five exams that I have have been clumped into next week starting on the monday. I am not grateful nor am I happy about this but I guess getting it over and done with is much better then having the burden pulling down on your shoulders.

So, I have revised each module fairly not fully, but fairly. I have a feeling that I may  not have covered everything but revision gets so dry and boring, it just wanders my mind to another place and I end up on Facebook or just freely serving the net.
Yes, I find it really difficult to concentrate and I know that in a space of four hours 8 pages of work is not really much but Hey I tried right?
I also need to have background sound when I'm revising, even if I'm reading, have some music or a movie in the background actually helps me concentrate a lil' more then silence. Teachers and Lectureres always say, that does not help it slows your productivity down. It does slow me down but at least I get somewhere.
I have to be honest, I manage to pass everything and I guess that is all that matters. As long as at the end of my University Education I can get a decent job then it is Fine. Sometimes the job is not even based on your grade, whether you get a 1st, 2.1 or even a 3rd. Majority of the time it is based on skill, it is useless if you graduate from Oxford carrying a 1st when you can not even make a cup of tea. Business wants skill and experience, Grades mare there to give interviewers a outline of what you are capable of but not physically.

Well, I know some people who have finished all their exams and have even moved out of the accomodation. I dream for that day as of this day. The stress is just.....I'm wordless, I cannot think of a suitable word to descrobe the feeling that is laid on me at this moment but It will get to me. The only way to make me feel a little bit better about those who have already finished is to curse them on Facebook whenever they post this or something similar to this "No more exams".......Curse them, insult them and everything will be fine.
When I was revising I watched a Film........It was nice it was a Kick ass film and the title of this film is KICK ASS. I found this film really creative, it was nice adventurous, action and was amazingly awesome.
I have to hand it to Nicholas Cage for his dark knight character, he did a really good job and the relationship between him and Hit girl has been portrayed very well. I love the music collaboration that Vaughn has chosen for the various clips and My favourite Christopher Mintz-Plasse plays Red Mist. Brilliant.

I think I have said Enough, I will be getting my food later and get some revision done along side since I have my weekend booked up for Work. Therefore the only time I have to go over my revision for the Exam on Monday is Sunday and that is where I panic the most. Even though it consist of 40% multiple choicce they are not that easy if you do not know anything about the nature of the subject. If you do not then I have to say that you are generally FUCKED.
I wish the best of luck to all those who are sittitng exams, rushing in your glorious Essays and preparing presentaions for the sake of lecturere who cannot be bothered to read and mark essay.
And for those who have already finish. Suck It.!

It's The Small Things That Make A Big Difference.....

Small things can make a big difference but the question is whether or not we see the change from within or if we experience it personally. Everyone take a voluntary step, a small step which can lead to a massive change for another person, however the problem is that we sometimes do not realise the nature of our actions and therefore we do not realise that a change has been made.

Obviously there is a counter effect as small things can make a big difference seeking the result that is opposite too success, happiness and even affect upon you in person.These small things that many people do is avoid helping older generations pick up a piece of paper or walking stick; in order to avoid this they would simply walk around them and blank it out. Little things such as lending someone a couple penny or donating to charity, people avoid these why? We are not asking for £100 but just a few penny. A simple Smile can make a difference, it can make a big difference. A smile to me is stress free, a sign of happiness and enjoyment, a chance to relax yourself and the main thing is that it cheers you up.

One small thing that has happened this week has made a diffrence, a difference that made everything worse.
I have a family business, we hired a worker who came from China and has been working here for a total of 13 years I will call him Y. He's a good worker but the only problem was that he turn to money as his main priority, selfish and self centred. He does not buy his own food but taked it from our storage, my dad is quite soft hearted so he allowed it. He lives up in the flat where he paid no rent, therefore my mum asked him for rent. the worst part was that when he was working for my auntie, she paid all his bills and even bought him food for breakfast every morning even on days off. She was pretty scared of him, even as a worker he would shout at her, leave hours before closing time. The flat he lives in belongs to us, but because his wife and daughter came over he forbids anyone to go up there except when my dad took over. His daughter attended college for three years doing english, she has not been back as she is 19 and will have to start paying therefore she stay home everyday instead. His wife had to take a test in order to stay in England, but she did not. Instead, Y paid someone to sit the test for her and we all know that is illegal.
Enough said, there is not much I can say about Y, from the details I have given we can tell that he is not loyal or friendly. Just this week, probably on Saturday night or early Sunday he left without notice and without say. He moved his belongings, his daughter and wife out and dissapeared. The only place I know they would go is back to China, but the worst comes to worst is that he has ditched all bills including phone bill and left many banks supplying him with a overdraft. He cleared all his money so that none of the comapnies will be able to recive the credit he owes, if he gets caught he will be jailed and nit just himself as this can be catergorised as fraud.
This small thing of him leaving have left my parents working harder, I will try my best to take on whatever I can but I also have the side of University on my shoulders. It is difficult, I get tired too but I do not want my mum and dad to work too hard. They have worked long enough.

I personally take on a lot of things, during work I would do everything even if I am tired but this avoids my mum doing it and I let her relax more, then I feel much better about myself. I make a effort to go out and meet up with my friends even if I do not feel the mood to do so, This makes them happy, keeps us in contact and friendship link will then grow much stronger. I drive my mum round to town and places she likes just to keep her occupied, even if I do find these places boring. Buying random gifts for friends and family just for no apparent reason. All these little things can make a big difference, we may not notice the change but it has happened, the effort we put into the things that we do can make others more smile. Taking one step further, one small step that makes everyone you know more happy, living each day more freely and more relaxed.

The main thing that I take on is University, I actually do not like it one bit if I am being Honest. But in my days where can you go if you do not have a qualification? The course I take is not the most ideal, I wanted to change and I still do, the reason for me staying is that I want to complete the course and get a decent job. Decent enough to allow my parents to retire, I do not mind taking on stress or work loads. If I put  my mind to it I can achieve the target I wish for. However, the strategy I am using is not really working very well. I do not have luck on my side so I have to work much harder.

Exams are the worst, I revise, But is it enough. I get nervous and I get scared, I can be optimistic  by mouth and pessimistic by heart. This is to show my friends that I have confidence. So far I have not failed anything, but I have realised that my scores are decreasing. This could be due to my ability to intake information is much slower then others, I don't really know. But Then again I don't even know if I am trying my best by giving my All. I revise more then ususal which is the one step I have taken further, Whether it will make a difference we will have to wait and see.

Judging A Book By Its' Cover.

I don't know why I do this all the time, But it is difficult not to.
Everyone does it.
They look at you and then judge you by the image that you present yourself in.
It could be the human instinct in trying to seek people who fit their levels, people who fit their category and those who fit their personality. I ponder the fact that it is highly important that a person fits your personality, if not it would be difficult to get along. However, how can we tell by a quick glance.
Isn't it a bit unfair as you could misjudge.
Seeing a person once and judging is one thing I would like to avoid in future, as those you misjudge could be those you get along with most however false that sounds.
But it is life. We should know a whole load of different people, and judging is not the way to go.

Keeping Afloat....

It is difficult to keep afloat,
Keeping everything balanced in life is one major aspect of life that no one in the world can fulfil.
Life is not perfect
Life cannot be the way you wish it to become,
From this you have to make your life float the way you want......
In times when you feel that everything is starting to crack, split and gradually fall apart,
Times when you just cannot hold on to all you have,
What would you do?
How would you overcome this?

The Ugly Side

Everyone is capable of unleashing a side where they can hurt a person mentally or physically.
They find the weak spot of their opponenet and go in for the kill not thinking about the consequence that it can cause at the end due to the naturalness of quick thinking. What these people do not understand is the feeling of the opposite person, the things said or done can hurt them in many ways and it is not just physical contact that can damage people's self esteem, confidence which can affect their future actions in life.

There were a pair if siblings having an argument, I will call them A and B. A threw a punch at B and in return B said to A that "This is why you have no friends". A was not very good at making friends, therefore A did not have many, this really hurt A from deep down and from that A threw B another punch. But, I actually think B deserves that last punch since B knows that A has a weak point in making friends. B started feeling guilty even though there was no way of withdrawing what has been said.

To be honest the character B in the story is Me. I do not always loose my temper and turn to my ugly side in order to win an argument, even if I am not a calm person I do not usually turn to my Ugly Side. I think that when my brother threw the first punch at me , I just lost it and that is what came to my mind straight away. I do feel terrible, but as stubborn as I am; I can only admit it on here as facing others I would deny my guilt.
It is difficult to fix when you are in the position that I am in, the only thing that I could think of is to let it all blow over and this will be the past, letting all by gone be by gones......
It was also difficult for my parents as they have to stand in between us in hope to come to a settlement. Arguments between siblings can affect parents even deeper then the person themselves. They worry a lot about us, not just about arguments but future events such as passing exams to graduation, whether we can get a job, whether we will get married, and if we get married is that person nice, will they be nice to you, then they worry about you trying to finance your own family.
Parents worry the most about siblings, they wan siblings to get a long even if they are non existence to the earth, It is hard to say or even think that far ahead but that is what they want and we should all try our best to give them what they want.

A lot of people say to me that not just the parent and children's realtionship is unconditional, but brothers and sisters. This may be difficult to believe, but in a way it is true. We fight, we argue, we pass blames but after that we get along in many ways, and if you do not get along with them you would still worry about them whether you are the younger or older sibling.

Human life is fragile, when you hurt them physically, mentally or emotionally this can trigger problems if that person cannot cope. I know this well.....
We should learn to control our ugly side as it can lead to greater costs, we may not understand unless we put ourselves in the position of the other person. Even if we know the weak spot of a certain person, we should never use this to gain anything - The guilt caused can be too hard for anyone to take in.
To be honest, I still feel really bad and terrible about unleashing my Ugly Side during the argument to day and this will not be forgotten in future either. I WILL remember this for a very long time as well. I do not know why, but the last time I faced my Ugly side I still remember it and I do not want to mention what it was because it was horrible and rather evil figure of speech used.

I will from now on try to keep calm, or use some other argumental phrases to use  - avoiding the UGLY SIDE is what I will do for the remaning of my time. But as I said at the beggining, it is usually things you do ro say straight of the top of your head, therefore it is hard to control.
BUT I HAVE TO TRY.

New Smile.....

"When Every Person Smiles, It Makes The World A More Beautiful Place"

A Smile shows expression.
Shows Happiness,
Shows Enjoyment.
Show the person that you are and affects your mood...

So Smiling means that you are happy, which puts you in a good mood right?

The special thing about a Smile is that you can make one everyday and Smiling can also make others Smile.
A Smile can be passed around to ecery person you see, a simple look at them or you when they Smile can make your day. It can relieve the stress your under or even allow you resolve a problem that you may be facing. A Smile is a very important expression, it is the one that people look for the most and it should be the one that everyone should be using the most. This Special Smile should never be upside down and should also be seen on your face everyday, it shows character and reflect your personality as every Smile is a different Smile.

Emotions can affect your mood, therefore affecting the people around you. We live everyday as they pass, so why not live through them being happy and Smile for each?....
There are many times that we feel down and do not have the courage to live up to it.....So think of a special memory that made you Smile, Made you laugh. And gradually your cheeks will pull your lips into a Smile, not by force but naturally. This will lighten up those gloomy days. Put the past behind and Smile towards the future.


But...
The most important thing about the Smile is that everyone has a unique Smile, No matter who you are , what you wear everyday we all show a New Smile. Each Smile is different from the previous because there are different reasons to the why you Smile.
No matter what you wear, what class you are, what Ethnicity, race, age, or gender we all have a Smile that belongs to ourselves and we have soul control over this special gift..

A New Smile give us New Hope Everyday.

Eveything Is Changing..!

As much as eveyone in the world hates facing the facts of life, But it does change.......

"Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer. ~Shunryu Suzuki"

Everything changes everyday,
Things change with every move we make,
Every step we take,
And we are not the ones to control that,
As we have to takes those steps in order to carry on with our lives.
Changes can vary by size, however big or small these changes can still affect the person that you are, sometimes we even learn from these changes to the effectiveness of using them to help ourselves get by.
Some changes makes us worse, depressed and even confused. Leading us feeling trapped and lost.
But, some change for the better. And if you are able to look past the change for the worst, it will not be so bad.
I moved houses many times, this resulted in moving schools, changing the surroundings and adapting to the new atmosphere; making new friends and trying to fit in. I have done this 3 times, 4 if you include University.
And I know that life cannot be undone, if we take one step forward and then take a step back it is not neccessary that we land in the exact same spot that we moved from, this is because things change....
Change happens every second, in every second somewhere in the world something changes and it cannot be undone. There is nothing you can say or do to undo a change because it has already happened.
People always say I will put my life on hold for you, but they can't, it is purely impossible to pause life, therefore when it comes to times where you think that life changed for the worst then Hold on and Keep Tight, because in the end everything always turns out okay.

There are many ways to see into your future, the most popular ways that we try to change, avoid future events from happening are from Tarot cards, daily horoscopes, fortune teller. Then again, only if you believe them. I can not say that I don't. A few years back, a friend brought a pack of tarot cards in for fun, you draw three cards representing your life of

PAST
PRESENT
FUTURE

....I do not recall my first two cards, but my third was the DEATH card.
Be aware that this card does not actually bring death; the basic meaning of this card is a big change that will happen changing your life completely.
I thought it was compelte rubbish, but thinking about it, My MUM and DAD told me that we will be moving within a months time. Therefore, it is difficult for me not to believe that the card was accurate to see into my future but I found it hard to be coincedental, Maybe it was.
But for these years that has passed, I still remember this very card that I drew about my future and still think that it cannot be such of a coicidence......

In many case, if you cannot adapt to a change however big or small that is, try to turn to another alternative and change yourself.

Then you would know that it will be for the better and not for the worse....

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl