I am finding it rather difficult now, to find a meaning of why I am here or what I am doing.
There seems to be many times where I just think to myself whether or not I have made the right decision in my life and I am frightened to face the truth that I have taken the wrong steps sometimes.
I am starting to find it difficult to find something that means something to me,
Find something that will make me realise that I am who I am, something to keep me on track.
Everyday, I put on a brave face, just live everyday like I would - Like any normal person.
But, are my smiles true? This, I know when they are. When someone or something makes you happy, you know that you smile for a reason. However, I seem to be missing something to complete myself.
I can not make out what that missing part is, or who it is. But it seems far away and out of reach, a place where it is not in sight to the naked eye or is known to be existence in the world we live in.
The comprehensibility of clear expression, other wise known as Clarity is hard to unravel.
I guess it's because not everyone has lived through to the chapter of their lives where this has become clear - I know I not yet have and it's intimidating since everyone around me has found that simple clarity.
On the other hand, it also takes courage to step up for complexity of life.
Taking a risk each day may change the person that you are, this risk may help you define your Clarity and it only takes as little as 5 minutes to take a risk and have your life changed for the better good or even the opposite.
Sometimes wishing upon a star makes me believe that it will come soon, But we all know that is some FairyTale.
I do also know that most of blog entries are dull and expressive, but it seems to be the only way to help me. Help myself take out what is deep down and just write it here. A place where people may or may not read it, but if they do I don't want to discuss it, since it is from the heart. If i can not talk to someone about it, then it will go here. Feels like a stone turning into a feather. It is one of the most relaxing feelings that anyone can experience.
Okay, so I've rudely just skimmed over this post, but here are my two cents anyway:
ReplyDeleteI feel similar a lot of the time, can't really figure out what I want, where I want to go, etc. Don't really get the meaning of my life since I will just grow old and die and remain unread (cheery thoughts here!). Writing does help this. Plus, there are some lovely things in life, like a lie in, a cup of tea. Brief moments than have nothing deeper, that do not require thought. Pure moments of relaxation.
Maybe there is something missing in you, but I think that whatever you feel is missing is not a lack in yourself but a lack in the society that surrounds you
Hope you figure it out (hope I do too!) xXx